I know i have completely gone M.I.A. for that I am truly and exclusively sorry. In my defense though we officially went on a wild goose chase to find some wifi minus the ever love hate relationship with the major companies and there long term contracts, We (mom and I) were successful and here I lay typing a blog long over due. So once again for anybody out there reading this I am undoubtedly so sorry.
So I am in Texas with my mother and sister visiting and missing my soon to be husband tremendously as he is in NYC losing his mind as he had to learn the hard way of who weren’t his friends and who are the truest forms of friends. I’m guessing there comes a time in everybodies lives that that has to happen and when I say “that” I mean the inevitable smack in the face of reality. You know the who’s who’s in your life. It of course didn’t take me as long to find out the ladies that I felt deserved my company and friendship seeing as the rest of the girls all destroyed my heart and trust for anybody. So as I go on my day to day routine I try to not judge other people and not have new people in my life live in the shadows of the foes who walked in and destroyed everything and walked back out with a smile. I learned that they were all here in my life as a lesson rather than a punishment. I feel horrible that he had to learn the hard way but everybody has to walk there own path in life to become what they are destined to be. You know as the saying goes, ” Better late than sorry”. That might be the incorrect saying lol but hopefully you will know what I mean. Until the next time. 🙂 Thanks for reading and as I always say keep your eyes peeled it will only get better.
Seeing as I’m on vacation not much of any drama happening but trust me it pops up all the time.
So far I woke up this morning from whatever sleeping position I was in on the train at 4:45am saying we had stopped in the middle of nowhere in Ohio because the last cart had a broken wheel.
The announcer says, ” we should be moving in one hour”.
Fast forward three and a half hours and we are moving again, finally. I have a connecting train that I must catch at 1:45pm in Chicago union station reason being would be because there’s not another train leaving until tomorrow afternoon at the same time. Also the preteen that is sitting next to me she is a sweetheart and I have become acquainted with her mother and younger sister. I also almost witnessed her mother about to throw a microwaved cheeseburger and the lady behind the cafe counter on the train. Until the next update. Keep your eyes peeled my life does get pretty interesting lol
The beginning of new changes. Is how I’m thinking I should start this. I’m sitting on a Amtrak train in a row seat, next to a pre-teen I’m guessing very well behaved. Seems quiet and timid. I just left Albany-Rensselaer station, where I have the love of my life a kiss goodbye praying that this will only last for so long and that we can meet back up in each others arms sooner than later. Feeling the sunset rays on the left side of my face. Listening to Cassie me and you blasted in my ears to hold back my tears. As many times in my life as I had to say goodbye you would think that it’s become easy for me to do. The truth of the matter he’s my lungs because for the first time I can’t breath without him next to me. I miss him so much already. It already feels like forever but I have to suck it up and know that this is for the best and its time for me to prove something to myself and those closest to me.
I wake up and I still don’t feel comfortable speaking to him. So good morning cry baby to me i should say. Just because a lot of feelings that I had suppressed came oozing right back since the day before yesterday. The air feels so unsettled in our place. I’m not sure what my emotions should be feeling. I’m angry, destroyed defeated and with no more hope. No but this is how a lot of girls and people would wish I felt went I opened my eyes but instead I’m gonna wake up and turn around and feel his love soaking into me because love is love weather or not you choose to accept it. I’m done with making my life difficult. Theres a moment in life where maturity just hits you and you finally get clear answers on what you do and don’t want in your life. Some people may get it at an older age and some may get it at a decent age and some unfortunately don’t ever get it (Trust me I know plenty of them).
Anywho today my fiancé and I have decided that I should go down to Texas and spend some time with my family while I go to school before we are officially married and forever happy. I had to find my kitty a new home just because I don’t feel right traveling all over the world with him I feel like he deserves a stable steady place and I most likely wont have much time to give him but I will miss and love his affection which fills a hole in my heart all the time. Anyways enough writing for today. Keep your eyes peeled as I promised it shall only get better.
Rolling up my sleeves because in my heart I want to write a novel to try to explain me and all my life decisions. Where they have gotten me and how I plan on fixing things but the truth of the matter is that I most likely won’t be doing that tonight just because, for one i’m not a world renowned author and it will have a lot to do with me just being plain lazy or like my mother says me practicing my procrastination skills and non abilities. Anyways I digress. This is my first post on this blog thing reason being that i am writing or in better words starting a blog, would be mostly because i just have to many feelings and emotions laying so heavily on me and I would rather not talk to an actual human being due to the fact that they can talk back and give there sly comments and judgments where they are not needed.
So my name is Jasmin (although there are plenty days that I wish no one knew i existed) and I am 24 going on 25 in August. I have been and still am in a 7 year relationship. Recently engaged and really happy (for the most part). I would be much happier if I could become a priest or imam and learn the power of forgiveness and actually put it into practice but regardless I am starting this blog to write my emotions and feelings down at anytime with full peace of mind. Of course not everything will be bad (I promise).:-)
I am trying to figure out how to do a quick synopsis to try and catch you up on my life but truth be told I honestly don’t believe that any such thing exist. I will save the really juicy details at least until the third blog. Although I don’t mind giving you a taste of what’s coming. Things such as manipulation, lying, deception, scandalous behavior and unforgivable actions ( things that you don’t come back from) are to come. Please keep your eyes peeled to my blog, I promise it can only get better as you try understanding the chaos in my heart and life.